Pumpkin Spice Bacon? Meijer’s Fall Foods Have Gone Too Far

I like fall. I like pumpkins. I even like the smell of pumpkin spice.

I'm not a coffee drinker, but I'll admit when somebody walks by with one of those pumpkin spice coffees, it smells pretty darn good.

But I think we need to have a conversation.

READ MORE: The Perfect Places to Pick Your Own Pumpkins in Mid-Michigan

Because apparently we've reached the point where someone in America looks at virtually every product known to mankind and asks, "Yeah, but could we make it pumpkin spice?"

Pumpkin Spice Has Taken Over Meijer

A trip through Meijer's fall offerings proves the pumpkin spice people are coming for everything once again.

Pumpkin spice coffee creamer is among the tamest pumpkin spice items you'll find at your local Meijer this season. (Photo via Meijer.com)

Coffee creamer? Obviously. Even as a non-coffee guy, I understand this one. Pumpkin spice and coffee have been joined at the hip for years.

Some Pumpkin Spice Foods Actually Make Sense

Breakfast isn't safe, either. I can handle the Pumpkin Spice Cheerios at Meijer. Cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves mixed into Cheerios actually sounds like a pretty reasonable fall breakfast. Of everything we're about to discuss, this might be the least offensive.

READ MORE: 3 Superior Spots to Get Apple Cider Donuts in Michigan This Fall

Then there are the Pumpkin Spice Werther's Original caramels. Fine. Caramel and pumpkin spice seem like two flavors that should probably get along.

Michigan Apple Wine Gets the Pumpkin Spice Treatment

But pumpkin spice-flavored Michigan apple wine? Hmmm. Apples, pumpkin spice and Michigan fall certainly belong in the same sentence. Whether they belong in the same wine glass is another question.

Even Your Dog Can Get Pumpkin Spice

And don't worry, your dog doesn't have to miss out on this yearly tradition.

Meijer even has "pup-kin spice" dog biscuits. That's right. Apparently your dog has been sitting there all these years wondering when someone was going to throw him a pumpkin spice Milk-Bone.

Pumpkin Spice Bacon Is Where I Draw the Line

But this? Sorry. This next one's over the line.

Pumpkin spice-flavored bacon.

Bacon.

Pumpkin spice flavored bacon? All right. You pumpkin spice people have gone too far. (Photo via Meijer.com)

This is where we call the intervention.

I love bacon. I have nothing against pumpkin spice. But sometimes two perfectly good things can live perfectly happy lives apart without ever meeting each other.

Would I try it? Out of curiosity, yes.

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Would I like it? I can pretty much promise you, no.

Bacon is sacred. Pumpkin spice needs to go play somewhere else.