Michigan Man Caught With Syrup In His Pants

A Michigan shoplifter gets himself in a sticky situation.  The reason why is ridiculous.

Let me start off this story by apologizing to Ohio on behalf of Michigan.  We realize this kind of story is usually an Ohio thing.  We don't mean to step on your toes.

Last Wednesday police were called to the Trader Joe's on Telegraph Road in Bloomfield Township, Michigan.  Those poor saps had to investigate the theft of maple syrup according to the Oakland Press,

The store manager reportedly saw the alleged thief in action and contacted police at around 3 p.m. on May 6. The suspect was described as a white male, approximately 35 years old who concealed two bottles of syrup and left the store without paying, police said.

You read that correctly.  The suspect stuffed two bottles of syrup in his pants and strolled out of that store as slow as molasses.  The Michigan man confessed to the officers once they caught up with him.  Much like yourself, the officers couldn't wait for the reason behind this sweet heist.  The shoplifter explained that he planned to return the stolen syrup for a cash refund.  Really?  The criminal mind sure isn't what it used to be.

I was hoping his excuse would be something like, "I wanted to take a selfie with syrup in my pants for my Tinder profile and use the title 'Would you tap this?'"

I wonder the 81-year-old Troy, Michigan shoplifter is his mother.  I wrote about her stealing from an unexpected place a couple years ago,

Grandma clearly has big plans for Thanksgiving this year!  She was busted stealing $360 worth of products from Sunglass Hut and Victoria's Secret at the Somerset Mall this week.

Crime never pays...in your pants.