Michigan Man Hospitalized After Inserting Beans Into His Urethra

Warning: this story is not suitable for all readers.  Specially, if you love kidney beans.

A 30-year-old Michigan man apparently attempted to find sexual gratification by inserting half a dozen kidney beans in his penis.  Important note: we have no intention what so ever to kink shame anyone.  This is more of a cautionary story.

An article in a medical journal published on sciencedirect.com in June of this year say that the discovery was made when the patient complained that he was unable to urinate.  The man came clean about what he did earlier that day that caused the obstruction according to Urology Case Reports on Elsevier's journal page,

It was revealed that earlier in the day he had inserted six kidney beans into his urethra for sexual pleasure with the intent of expressing the beans during ejaculation.

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Before coming to the hospital the man attempted removal himself with tweezers but was unsuccessful.  The man then went to the emergency room.  They had no luck.  That's when the medical staff did a CT scan and came up with a plan.

Urology did their best to avoid surgery by attempting to remove the 6 kidney beans using lidocaine jelly and manual compression.  They were only able to get one bead out in pieces.

One day later, the 30-year-old underwent surgery.  The medical staff extracted the beans for the man stalk.  I won't go into detail how because it makes me funny inside.  If you're into the logistics of how to remove foreign objects from a man's urethra or want to see the actual beans that were removed, click here.

There are better ways to audition for Grey's Anatomy.