Weekly World News relaunches on September 25 and they are as outrageous as ever with a headline claiming Prince is alive and cruising the streets of Kalamazoo.

What is it with Kalamazoo? First the Burger King rumors in the late 1980s, then the relaunched investigation concluding the King is alive and living in the Mall City. Now, Weekly World News has another dead rock star in our midst.

Surely, you remember Weekly World News? From 1979 to 2007, the tabloid gave us the Page 5 Honey, the saga of Bat Boy, predictions on the return of Jesus, updates on alien visits to Earth and the post-9-11 story of Bin Laden (actually a dwarf)  recruiting a cloned Adolph Hitler to join Al Qaeda. It was great entertainment while standing in line at the grocery store, before we had tiny keyboards to type on and small screens to scroll through.

Now, the tabloid is going digital and relaunching. Their Facebook page is already up with the exclusive on Mitch McConnell leading the aliens out of Area 51. (The more things change, the more they stay the same.) This month, below the story of a constipated Rambo and above the balloon stripper craze Weekly World News has the revelation that Prince is not only still alive, but driving an Uber in Kalamazoo. Hey, it's on the internet so it must be true. ;)

 

Lady cab driver, can you take me for a ride?
-Prince

Look for the little red corvette or a purple car.