Imagine a universe in which Donald Trump was merely a fictional president, as we sort through this afternoon's Pop Bits:

Donald Trump Almost Sued 'Sharknado 3' Producers for Rescinding His Job Offer: Trump would have played -- you guessed it -- the president of the United States. It's too bad, really. Maybe if he'd gotten that part, he would've been too busy to run for actual president and the world wouldn't have spun off its axis into this dystopian pseudo-reality we must endure for three-and-a-half more years (at least).

NASA Posted a Job Opening for a 'Planetary Protection Officer': Would you like to make six figures protecting Earth from alien invaders? If so, you would be "responsible for the leadership of NASA's planetary protection capability, maintenance of planetary protection policies, and oversight of their implementation by NASAs space flight missions." Also, "frequent travel may be required." Yeah, SPACE TRAVEL.

Watch Coldplay Perform Linkin Park's 'Crawling' in Honor of Chester Bennington: Chris Martin played a solo piano version of Linkin Park's second hit single. Martin even messed up the beginning then had to start over, saying he "wanted to get it right since it would likely end up on YouTube." He was right. It did end up there!

How to Clean Out Your Gmail Account and Start From Scratch: Are you one of those people with thousands of "unread" messages in your inbox? Do you receive tons of unsolicited messages every day? Do you have trouble searching for a particular message from a while back? Maybe it's time to clear everything out and start over.

Couple Who Met as Jeopardy Contestants Gets Married: "Alex, We’ll Take ‘To Have and to Hold’ for $1,000." Maryanne Lewell and Michael Townes met in 2013 while trying out for the long-running TV quiz show. Both made it to the quarterfinals of the Teachers Tournament, but never actually faced each other. Presumably they'll be arguing over who would've won for the next several decades.

Michael Jordan Ranks Kobe Bryant Over LeBron James for a Dumb Reason: Kobe won five NBA championships in his career, and so far LeBron has won "only" three -- therefore Kobe is better, as Jordan explained to some kid who asked. Hmmm, nine players have won more than Jordan's six titles, so by MJ's own logic he's merely the 10th-best player of all time then, right?

10 Celebrities Who Ran for Political Office -- And Won

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