Today the Grand Rapids Press Reported the Detroit Lions Loss to the Cowboys…Next Week
Today’s Grand Rapids Press is very interesting. The Detroit Lions take on the Dallas Cowboys on Monday Night Football next week, and either A) they know something we don’t, B) they screwed up, C) next week’s game has been fixed, or D) they REALLY hate the Detroit Lions over there at the Grand Rapids Press and MLive!
Luckily, it only takes a moment to see that the correct answer is D.
Wait, B… sorry, B. I’m just in the habit of choosing D whenever I see four options. Which is probably why I’m not at NASA, working as a rocket scientist.
Unfolding the paper, you see the information on yesterday’s game against the NY Giants, where the Lions were defeated 17-6.
Which also raises the question of the phrasing of the headline. Why use “roped” if you’re talking about the Giants’ win? It’s not like “giant” is a synonym for “cowboy”, like “vaquero”. Nor would it have anything to do with the Lions. So, why create the headline “roped by the” at all for yesterday’s game?
Maybe it’s not a mistake, but simply next week’s headline printed by mistake today? Could the NFL be as shady and fixed as Boxing? As plotted and pre-arranged as the WWE?
Or is the sports writer at the Grand Rapids Press secretly a psychic? Holy crap! Wouldn’t that be amazing?! We’d all have to convince him to become our best friend in the whole wide world, so we could all start placing bets in Vegas before each week’s game, and we’d all make MILLIONS!
We’d have to get in a get it done quickly, since you know those Vegas mobsters would quickly see what’s going on, and send someone to silence the sports writer, and anyone who’s had contact with him… so we’d have to win all our money, and then pool some of it together to get him into witness protection.
As long as we still know where he is for more predictions… I mean, come on, we have to have access to more ill-gotten gains, right?
But then again, maybe they just hate the Lions.